Such an ugly thing, for someone so beautiful.
Lyrics by The Kooks 
I don’t actually have an excuse for not writing. Cause I know that I feel better and more clear about stuff once I’ve written it down. That that I need to feel better or more clear about stuff…or maybe I do? And I can say that I don’t have anything to write about, but I know as soon as I start writing, I won’t stop.
I’ve though about another tattoo to get, before the one I get with Nobby. I’ve always liked the idea of getting a friend to do a tattoo cause I always think it’s nice and more personal that way, and my friend Joe tattooed his own knee not that long ago and I’m really impressed with it, it looks great! It’s just a little flower thing but it’s really well done. And I saw a sign saying “Sometimes B#, Never Bb, Always B♮” which sounds very very gay and doesn’t even make that much sense…”Sometimes be sharp, never be flat, always be natural”. Buuut I like the “B♮” bit, so I think I’ll tattoo that somewhere very small, like fingernail size, maybe on my wrist? Oooorrr, on the back of my neck or something. Maybe not the back of my neck, cause I quite want to see it and be encouraged and that sort of thing. So I’m going to get Joe to do that, really small somewhere
Asher’s coming down on the 16th to see Miacca playing Cardiff Barfly 
And he’s going to stay at mine again that night. Pieter’s filming the gig so we can see it back and decide what needs to change so he’ll probably stay as well. But I spoke to Asher on the phone earlier while I went for a late night stroll to the beach and I suggested we go to the beach really early and watch the sunrise and he got excited about it. And now I’m excited. Cause remember last summer when me and CJ did that for that entire week nearly? When we went to the beach and watched all the kites and I decided to kitesurf…
Well be and Piet found this awesome, awesome little cove yesterday. We went riding our bikes and we took the kite and we found this really great little place, it’s the tiniest beach ever and it’s next to this huuuuuge hill, and at the top of the hill is this cliff and you can proper see out to sea. Linda, think Mwnt, but a lot smaller. It’s pretty much exactly the same sort of scene as Mwnt, but literally like a quarter of the size. It’s so nice And the sun should rise over the sea, so me and Asher can sit on the top of the hill and watch it from there I’M SO EXCITED!!
Tab’s friend Chris used to come on to me a lot, and bless him, he’s not given up since like…the 2008 archery World Championships. That nearly two years! And he’s never really taken the time to properly get to know me, I think he’s just tried to get with me so he can joke to my brother about it. I refuse to be that girl. But he used to text me and talk to me on MSN a lot and try and get me to say stuff that he could tell me brother about. But on the weekend, at the British archery champs. I wasn’t shooting so I was looking after this little girl called Ashton from Newcastle. And me and her were sat on the steps outside the building, we were just talking about stuff. She’s 4 so there wasn’t an immense amount of things to talk about but still. It was good. Then Chris came and joined us and did his usual “Tia, be a darling and get me a drink? Please?”. I said no, and Ashton called him weird in her little accent, “that man’s WEE-AD!!”
But he tried making a pass and stuff, like he does. But he’d never really done it to my face. So I stole his hat and laughed at him for even suggesting that I’d go anywhere near him. Then I told Ashton to call him names, and she was saying cute things like “he’ll get ants in his pants sat there!”. But me and Chris sat there playing with her and it was actually really sweet and I think he may have got to know me better haha…then I told her to tell him something, then he threatened to roll me down the hill. I didn’t believe him. So he nudged me, and I rolled down the hill…ungracefully through some stingy nettles. This was on Sunday. It’s now Wednesday and it still really itches!
I spoke to Sam again the other day. That was good to catch up. Wish we could do it more. Shame 
Me and Pieter are supposed to be going mountain biking tomorrow, I don’t know if I’ll actually participate this time or if I’ll sunbathe and read my book as usual 
We’ll see. I’m not sure if we’ll actually go or not though cause we’ve seen each other a lot this week and I duno if either of us can be bothered or think it’s a good idea or whatever. We’ll see If not, I’ll ride my bike to our little cove and fly my kite The kite is a 3.6 by the way, and a foil. Not the type of kite I’m after. But this one’s good to learn on and build my confidence with
Ok, time to sleep or I’ll be falling over more than I bargained for tomorrow!
Love!!
Tia-Rhian xx
I’m fed up of people walking all over me.
Lyrics by Remi Nicole
I’m done with people using me. I’m talking about Pieter in this case, but I get it from people a lot.
He knows full well that I’d bail him out whenever her wants money. I could have raised enough money for my kite and still give him £100 if he asked me for it. Everyday, he brings in a packed lunch. I usually have about 70p or whatever I can find in my pocket which will buy me…a cheap hot chocolate, a big cookie, an apple or a pasty. And if he asks for 70p so he can buy one of those things, I still give it to him. I don’t know why, don’t ask me. But I feel like he needs it more than me. So he uses my money, grabs what he wants. And then he’ll sit down and eat whatever food is in his bag, while I sit next to him absolutely starving…
He knows that I’m going to give up my time and hang out with him if it makes him feel better ever though I want some time to myself. Like when me and Nia were supposed to have a girly curry night. He called, he was upset, so I ran home, grabbed some money, hopped on the train and two buses and straight to his house. Whenever he feels lonely, he can come over, even though I’m tired, I need an early night, I just want to watch Criminal Minds and go to sleep. If I’ve got work to do, all he has to do is ask and I’ll talk to him, or I’ll go to the garage with him to fix his car. When I want to spend the weekend chillin’ out with my family who I never see, he asks and I go to the middle of east bloody nowhere.
He knows that I’d do anything for him if he asked. Even when I don’t want to, I still will because I feel like he needs it more than I do. Sure, I’d give anyone everything I had but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss it when it’s gone.
It’s not like I sit here, heart broken, eyes water cause I want a kite so bad but I can’t afford it cause I give people money when they’re hungry. And it’s not like I sit here trying to remember how the Old Mill smells, and what Fatz cheesy fries taste like, and what happens at Zumba, until I’m blue in the face wanting to scream cause I can’t afford to go back to SC cause I’ve given someone all my money, again.
He should know that I’m not going to say no. He does know, in fact, that I’d never say no. If he cared at all, he just wouldn’t ask. And it’s the same with anyone else. Of course I’m going to offer them money if they’re hungry, I’m not just going to sit there stuffing my face in front of them :S
And I’m convinced that Ash invited me to London with her on the weekend because her parents wouldn’t let her travel to London on her own. Which is fine, cause The Slackers were awesome, I got to hang out with Stu, and I met the guys from Anti-Vigilante which was really cool. Ash stalked The Skints and ignored me whenever Jamie or anyone else was around. But I hung out with Andy a lot of the night and we had a catch up and I got to meet Dave Hillyard (one of my many sax idols). It just sucks to feel like I’ve been used by my best friend to get to a band, who couldn’t give a shit about her…actually, Jon (the bassist) and her and really good friends. But it’s like…she can go off with them and do her thing and talk to them for as long as she wants…then she can come back to me, and I’ll be waiting like a little puppy for my “friend”.
Josie’s the same too. She’s my best mate till she has a boyfriend :/ Since she’s been with James, she’s no where to be seen. Apart from the other night when she stayed at mine…she was on a college trip and needed to stay in Llanelli so she could to college the next day. So she stayed here…she was supposed to stay the next night too. But no, she texted at the time she was meant to get here to say she couldn’t cause she’d made other plans. And it’s like…by all means, just leave me in the dark. I’m here to cater for your needs after all. Did she not consider that I might actually need my friend once in a while? Like, did she not consider that I might be a bit fed up of being walked on?
Don’t get me started on Lel either. The amount of times she’s asked me to come and see her, she can’t come up here because it’s a long drive. So I give up my weekend to drive down and see her…then she’s impossible to get hold of. Until she texts to say sorry but something has come up. By which point I’d have driven like an hour to come and see her.
Just so sick of it. So, so, so sick of it. I know, I’m a push over. I don’t ask for money or new things off people. I joke about people buying me a kite and stuff, but I don’t ask for anything. If someone gives me something I need then that’s awesome, like so awesome and I’m so grateful. But like…gah. Tab’s laptop was dying and he needed a new one so he asked mum for a new one. Tadaaaaa, he got one. Mine hasn’t been able to switch on for months. It’s completely dead. No lights. Nothing. I can’t ask mum for a new one cause that’s not fair, she wouldn’t say no to me if she knew it was something I need and she’s got her own stuff she needs to spend money on, so I’ve not asked. And I’ve not got a laptop.
Tab asks mum and dad all the time to help him out with archery stuff. I took up compound archery and I needed a release aid. He said he couldn’t give me his cause it was his spare and he needed it, dad said he’d buy me one. Awesome. Then Tab decided he needed a new one, asked dad for it, dad got him a new one and I got his old spare. Tab got new X10 arrows, I got dads old ACE’s (which are really good, it’s just these were falling apart), Tab got new Fat Boy arrows, I got mum’s old ACE’s that wouldn’t fly right at all, Tab’s had about 4 bows. Each costing about £300 each, at a guess. Tons of new arrows…there’s a shed load in the spare room. There’s a video of him online shooting a rugby goal post with one of his X10′s (they cost £27 per arrow).
I’d really love £300 for a second hand kite. Not even £300. £150 would do it, I can try and save up the rest. Or even like £200 for my harness and board and stuff. But I can’t ask for it cause they’ve got stuff that they want to spend money on. And I can’t afford it cause I keep giving my money to other people.
I just wish that it’d matter to someone what I want sometime. My parents have given me so much, I know. They bought my two pianos, my first sax, the violin and flute were both Tab’s that I got my hands on when he decided he didn’t want to play them. Dad just bought me £300′s worth of acoustic guitar for my 18th, and I love it so much. I sleep with it next to my bed. And I want music more than anything, I love it. Like Tab loves the subject he’s chosen. They’ve funded stuff for his Uni work and his chosen subject, he’s doing sports massage, they bought him a massage table. They’ve funded my music and bought me instruments. It just gets to me that he asks for archery equipment that he doesn’t need and he gets it. It pisses me off that he gets all this new archery stuff, then drinks the night before a competition and shoots like a tit anyway. While I’m sat here bawling like a baby right now cause I want to go to the beach with my friends and not have to sit on the sand and watch them have fun cause I don’t have a kite. He’d never be this upset over a piece of archery kit that he wants but can’t afford. I can’t imagine him not getting something he wants :S I’m trying to think of what he’d do if someone full on just told him he can’t have those new arrows, he hasn’t got the money, mum and dad aren’t paying for it. He’s not having it until he can buy it. He’d throw a stop probably, until someone gives in. I can’t imagine him just accepting that he simply can’t have it. He just wouldn’t. Mum and dad would give it to him anyway, so I guess we won’t ever find out.
Gah
Tia-Rhian xx
Stand up for the anthem, Salute the flag, Respect the monarch, or push it back…
Lyrics by Random Hand
My days!! I need a Diary guys! Been so, so, so busy!!
Where did I leave you? Ah yes! The GIGS! With Random Hand, The Skints, Chris Murray and Mouthwash last Thursday.
Well, Mouthwash didn’t play because they’re singer has tonsilitis so they’ve had to drop out of the tour until he’s better. But the other guys were increadible. And I got to meet The Skints and Random Hand, which ruuuuuled
On the first night, Steff, Joe and I ended up having a chat with the drummer from Random Hand (also called Joe but we’ll call him Dimmers because there are too many Joe’s in my life…). Because Steff and Joe had met him before at a gig, he remembered them and they had a lovely catch up. The they left the conversation and I ended up having a lengthy chat with Dimmers about getting signed and finding booking agents and good clubs to play in around Bradford and Leeds which was really cool and very helpful
And then we tried teaching Robbie (the lead singer in Random hand) and Josh (guitarist, The Skints) Welsh. We taught them Dangos Dy Wiwar (“show me your squirrel”), something very rude and Shwmae (“Alright?”). And then Marcia (Singer, Flute, Sax, Keyboards from The Skints) joined the conversation and I mentioned the brief chat we had on FaceBook and she was like “omg! Hello! It’s so nice to meet you!” and her enthusiasm was awesome xD.
THEN we hung out with everyone behind the venue as they were waiting for their vans and we all exchanged hugs and “see you tomorrow’s” and that was cool.
Then on Friday night, it was very much the same. Ash was very annoying because she had a backstage pass…we all kinda thought she’d stop rubbing it in once she met them and realized that they were human. But no. Well whatever. She hung out backstage through the entiiiiiire gig. She didn’t see Chris Murray, Regime or Random hand. She came out for a little bit to see The Skints, but then she complained that it was too hot and went backstage and watched them from there. *Rolls Eyes*. She came out between acts to see us and to get a drink, each time she’d be like “Josh sooooo just got changed in front of me” and another time she came out wearing Josh hat. We just rolled our eyes, shrugged and went back to the stage to watch the next band and hang out with our non-Skints-obsessed friends…
We hung out a lot with Dimmers again that night and that was awesome, cause he’d come out and watch the other bands whereas everyone else just stayed backstage. I guess they didn’t want to wear themselves out before they had to play.
Then once again, we hung out with them after everyone had gone. Josh taught me the chords and the lyrics to N55 on Matt’s guitar…but he didn’t ask Matt so Matt was annoyed. He didn’t show it. But he was, so I put it back. Oops. Josh gave it to me anyway, I thought it was Josh’s. Anyway, Ash was still farting around backstage and we were supposed to be giving her a lift back so we sat around chatting to Dimmers while he put his stuff away. Then stood around as the vans were being loaded. Steff and Joe figured out how they’re getting to Dimmer’s last gig with Random Hand in Bristol. But I wasn’t sure I could go…Cause I’ve got my Uni audition on Wednesday and then I’m going to Bradford on Friday…and the Bristol gig in on Thursday. But Dimmers kept asking me to go, he said whatever to my plans and everyone was saying that I had to go cause it’s his last gig and it’s going to be the best one on the tour. I said I was skint (don’t have any money) and I couldn’t afford to go to Bristol AND get a ticket to go in…so he said he’d guestlist us all and get us backstage passes. So that’s me sold. Looks like I’m going to Bristol. Dimmer’s lives in Keifley and he’s going back there on Friday, and I need to be in Ilkley on Friday which is just next door. Literally on the other side of a hill they call Ilkley Moor. I was going to see if I could get a lift with him but I think I’ll go home first cause then I’d have to take a suitcase and stuff and I just can’t be bothered.
So it is Monday today…tomorrow I am meeting up with Brett for a little bit, then in the evening I will practice my butt off for my Uni audition which is on Wednesday, and straight after that I am heading down to dads house to meet my new cousins cause Jill’s sister and her family are staying there, then Thursday I’m getting my hair lightened by Jill’s sister who’s a hairdresser, then at 4ish on Thursday I’m going to Carmarthen to get picked up by Steff to go to Bristol, then after Bristol I’ll go back to mum’s house in Llanelli and get there at 3ish…then at 9ish the following morning I’ll go back to dad’s house and if Jet and family are still there, say goodbye to them. Then hopefully hang out with Lel and then go to Ilkley. And celebrate Estonian Independance Day on Saturday night in Bradford and then home on Sunday…College on Monday…Oh my days.
I’m very very nervous about my University audition though. I’ll be playing the piano and singing, the song is Gravity by Sara Bareilles. And I’ll bring in a portfolio and recordings of me doing everything else that I do.
If I don’t write tomorrow night…my next post will tell you whether or not I’ve got a place in Glamorgan Univeristy…
If I don’t have a place, you guys in the States might be stuck with me for the next year.
This is a big audition…
My brother, Tapani, is headed to Vegas today He left at 8 this morning and he shall be flying over before long If he wins, the prize money in his division alone is $30, 00. I don’t know if they’ll change it to £30,000 or if they’ll exchange it for whatever $30,000 is in pounds…
Here is the plan for the tournament: http://www.nfaa-archery.org/tournaments/vegas/schedule.cfm
I cannot find a website for you to be able to follow him on. But I’ll keep looking. And I will keep you updated on his progress when I get a free minute! If you have him on Facebook, he’ll be updating regularly.
Go Bambi
Tia-Rhian xx
Cheshire Archery :)
Had of a bit of an up-and-down weekend, I’m not going to talk about Pieter. So I’ll just tell you everything else
So, my family all had a competition in Cheshire (which is about a 4 hour drive from where we live) and we all reckon we shot terribly, apart from mum…who doesn’t know what shooting terribly means
Despite shooting terribly, I had a fantastic group It consisted of Peter Frost (who fixed my serving, waaaahoooo!), Shaun Duggan (who I didn’t really talk to) and a lady called Helen. She was so sweet, and we got on really well.
I loved my group We had a good weekend, Peter was really lovely and really supportive when things went wrong, and gave me a kick up the butt when I needed it, even though he didn’t have to. His friend has done that to me previously too, when I’ve shot in a group with her. Steve Gooden was in the group behind us too and we chatted between targets, he’s another lovely person
When dad and I pulled up next to him in our car, he opened my door for me to get out. What a sweetie
And JI!! Aaaaah JI is such a legend, he was telling me about his wife. And it’s all so awesome.
I need to shut up and go to sleep, one more thing though, the place where we shot was a forest near a lake. And all the leaves were falling, and it was beautiful. The whole place was just stunning. I didn’t want to leave. I love Autumn
Tia-Rhian xx
